Today I thought I'd talk about one of the more difficult topics: Relationships. For people without allergies, relationships are complicated, but add allergies into the mix and it almost seems impossible.
As a 19 year old, one of the first questions I get asked is: Are you in a relationship? Or Do you have a boyfriend? And the answer to these is always no. And not for lack of trying!
So lets start with the first difficult thing about dating and allergies: bringing them up.
Most dates revolve around food (lunch, coffee etc) so allergies can come up and should come up quite early in the piece. It is important that the date understands that you have allergies and that you will have to go somewhere that can cater to your dietary requirements. If you can do this then well done! You have gotten past the first hurdle. No one should have to feel embarrassed or anxious about bringing up your allergies, its something that is just a part of life.
Time for a bit of a personal anecdote. I went out with a guy for dinner one night, who said he was totally okay with the fact I had allergies. However when I ordered, he became distant and started acting a bit odd! At the end of the date he told me I was too complicated for him and that he didn't want a second date. Fair enough right, it is his opinion! However upon later investigation, I found he was talking about my allergies. Sadly, allergies seem to make a lot of people head for the hills. Whether its because they think that it is too hard to date someone with allergies or they don't want to put in the effort, it seems to turn them off.
If you manage to find a guy who will start a relationship with you, kissing is also a massive issue.
The sources seem divided on the topic of kissing with allergies. Some recommend waiting 3-4 hours after consuming the allergen, some say 24-48 hours! I suppose it depends on how severe your allergies are, but the point remains that whomever you are kissing cannot consume your allergens before kissing you.
This might seem like a bit of a downer statement but as I expressed to my friend: It seems like romance is dead for those of us with allergies! All the romantic movies seem to point towards romance being surprise kisses in the rain etc, but when they have to text you/call you and ask: does this product have your allergy in it? Is it okay if I eat this? Then the spontaneity that we have been taught to want kind of dies. My friends response? You should create a forum for singles with allergies! At least I can laugh about it.
In all honesty, it is extremely hard to date with allergies and whilst I know there are people with food allergies out there in relationships, it can be very difficult! So if you are in a relationship, I have to offer you my congratulations, as you must have found someone truly accepting and amazing. For now though, I face multiple rejections for my 'complicated' food situation. The Eczema Experience aims to educate those with allergies and the public. If I can succeed in this goal, maybe there will be a few more open minds out there ready to date someone with severe food allergies.
And remember, if they don't love you for who you are, then they aren't worth it!
Sending my love to all The Eczema Experience Fans around the world :)
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